Friday, October 21, 2011

#6. USJesco

One morning I woke up and Craig (the guy from Craigslist) was like, "Hey, USJesco are auditioning for salespeople."

Sales? AUDITIONS?! Yeah! They basically want people to perform live, in-person infomercials. RETAILTAINMENT they call it!

The first round of auditions I'd heard about were at the BCA, not far from me, but I was doing Twelfth Night then. When I came back there was another round of auditions! In Woburn. So I borrowed my roomies' Jetta and headed out.

It was at the Hilton there. Two other people were there ready to audition. One of them was Cheryl. I think she was from Chelsea. We talked about Apollinaire and the No Name restaurant.

There was a side for us to read from with three paragraphs on it, each from a different pitch for a different product. One was a for a Sham Wow-esque item that came in unprecedented quantities, a lifetime guaranteed knife that would be replaced if broken - even if it's YOUR FAULT - and, of course, Mr. Sticky. Mr. Sticky is a lint roller than never needs to be refilled.

When I went in to read, the two fellas there asked which I wanted to read. They were all great, but I read the prompt for Mr. Sticky.

The guys were floored. "I don't wanna jump the gun, but that was fantastic," said the guy on the right.

"Yeah," said the guy on the left, "That's just the kind of tone you need for Mr. Sticky."

They invited me to callbacks at 5:30, but they didn't want me to hang around with the other actors, in case they weren't called back. I was like, "Uh, okay," grab my stuff and said Bye to everyone in earshot as though I was going to leave, and went to the TV room near the bar and played PSP for a while.

Then I got a call from one of the guys explaining there were too few people to justify a callback, so they were gonna let me know when they were gonna have another callback.

They didn't.

Best of luck, USJesco!

4 headshots remain.

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