"If you like Alice in Wonderland, but there's not enough sex and violence in it, then Dissocia is the show for you."
Chelsea Theatre Works. High ceilings and big old tables. Quite a nice building. Almost suspiciously so.
A few of my friends had worked with Apollinaire before. Some practically just finished a production of The Wedding on the Eiffel Tower and other Absurdities of Love.
When I asked each of them about their experiences with the company, answers varied. One vowed never to work with them again. Another said that they signed up for this very audition immediately, and suggested that I do the same.
I took the bus out to Chelsea, and David the Sound Guy let me into the building. Before I started filling out the audition form, Danielle the Director told me to look at pages 14 through 16 of the script and that I would be reading for Guard 2.
I walked into the giant audition room, and the creative team introduced themselves to me.
I did my Red Light Winter monologue.
And then I sang "All the Things You Are" - I didn't do it very well, I've just always wanted to use it for an audition.
Then I did a cold read of a scene with two other actors - Becki, who was reading for the lead role of Lisa, and Vlad, a company member who was reading for Guard 1.
When I had read it before the audition, I thought it was really funny. Out loud, it sounded really awful. I wasn't sure if it was Becki, Vlad or me.
Danielle asked if I truly was busy every other Saturday night, as I wrote on my audition form.
"Well, I stage manage a show once every two weeks. I'm looking into training a replacement."
"The production runs five weeks," she said. "Will you have a replacement for then?"
I looked off to the side and said, "Uhh."
I couldn't in all honesty tell her that I would be more than willing to change my work schedule for this play.
But I'm realizing now that, if I ever plan on acting in a long-running show any time soon, I'm gonna have to rethink how this stage management gig is gonna work.
9 headshots remain.